Toxic Friends? When friendships is no longer healthy

Assalamualaikum...

GOOD FRIENDS

All of us agree that we need someone that we called as friends to be there with us instead of family as they play important role in our emotional and physical well-being. Having true friends besides us that we can count on them, facing the difficulties and joy together, and accept us just the way we are is truly hard. According to the survey, 84% of women struggling with so called ‘toxic friends’ who are self-absorbed, emotionally draining, critical or backstabbing. 

Toxic friends only know how to stress you out mentally and physically. However, many of us still keep them in our life without the reasons. Sometimes we like them sometimes not. We just don’t know how to end the friendships even though we always complain or talk about these thing with our parents. It’s just that we are not brave enough to talk in front of toxic friends. Sometimes we can’t stand with their irritated behaviors, but we never talk about how we actually feel when they behave in that way. In fact, we choose to keep silent because we thought that they would change and grow up. But, sometimes they won’t and they never want to change. They think that by being a toxic can give them more benefits, why should they change?

There are thousands of reasons why you should end your friendship with them?

They take and you give. We should realize when time passed on your friendships, are you the one that always giving and receiving and rarely focused on your needs? If it is, you should starts do the talking with your friends. When you tell your friends that you want an equal relationship, automatically you become the caretaker towards your ‘friends’. Still if you can’t handle them, you can charge the professional fees or you can just walk away from them.

They do not support who you are. A good friend will always accept you just the way you are. However, this kind of friends wills always criticism and put down your emotions and not making your emotional health. In fact, they will always make you feel down as like you are losing your self-confidence especially in the public. When facing this kind of friends, you should speak up your voices to them by saying that you need to be treated with some respect just like your friends done to others. If you decide to still go on with this friendship, give them some time to changes. If the responses that you want are more criticism, then you should move on with your life.

They cannot be trusted with your secrets. Trustworthiness friends are hard to find as you need to monitor them time to time and also based on your experience.  Least of people have least of trusted friends that they can share their knowledge and even their biggest secret in life. Those who could hear your ‘secrets’ are the one that have your trust and also trust us with their inner thoughts. However, always bear in mind that human beings are imperfects and always slip up something incidentally.  If your friends always do something like this more than twice, you should express your disappoint and hurt to your friends so that they know about your inner feelings. If you can’t handle your friendships anymore, you can just end them.

Based on the point above, it shows that ‘toxic friends’ is very dangerous as they can kill a bit on ourselves without we even realize it. But, we can just pretend not to know it since it is hard to face them or they do not want to take any step by changing their behavior just for the sake of your friendships. If yes, end your relationships and stay away from them!

Things around us

Assalammualikum...

Last two weeks, I've learned about things around us likes metaphor, simile, satire/parody, irony, paradox and parable/allegory.

metaphor:

• is used to describe a subject as/like exactly the same to the object by drawing the parallel in properties between the object and object  

simil

• figure of speech that draws similarity between two different things but otherwise not the same between the another.

satire/parody:

• the use of with especially irony, sarcasm, and ridicule, to criticize a particular subject as depicted in literate works, plays or films.

irony:

• inconsistency between what might be expected to happen and what actually happens especially when this differences seems absurd/ laughable.

paradox:

• a statement. a situation that is true but seems to defy logic/ intuition.

parable/ allegory

• the symbolic expressions of a deeper meaning through a story or scene acted out by humans, animal or mythical characters.

The Sunny Side of Smut

Assalmmualaikum...

Pornography is the explicit portrayal of sexual subject of matter. It can be in the form of books, magazine, postcards, photos, sculpture, drawing, painting, animation, sound recording, film, video and video games. With the development in technology world today, people can easily access to the unlimited limitations towards pornography. According to the article ‘The Sunny Side of Smut’ that was written by Melinda Wenner Moyer, she said that the use of internet pornography give more good effects than bad effects. How can this thing become good things towards people?

As we all know that porn give more effects to family institution. Married men that prefer internet pornography will most probably become less satisfied with their wives. This is because they know that they can get variety of them without being charge. When wives saw the changes in their husbands, they started to think that their husband is having another girl outside the house or more. Thus, it will affect the marriages as they will get in involve with big fights between husband and wives.

Besides, pornography viewing will leads to a loss of interest in good family relations. For example, when the boy in the family likes to watch pornography, they will saw their others family members especially girl or women as the ‘sex object’ since they can imagine it. When these things keep happening, parents need to control the usage of the Internet at home so that their children won’t easily access to the pornography.

In addition, pornography was said to keep their abnormal sexuality within the boundaries of their own imagination. But actually they are not. Those who view pornography in a long period of time will produce the stronger notions of women as commodities or as sex objects. Also for married men who involved in pornography will feel less desire and less emotionally attached their wives since they feel enjoy more watching pornography.

Additionally, internet pornography will shape the attitudes and values. When consumers consume the materials, they automatically have the tendency to act aggressively beyond what they can imagine. Also, they began to accept pornography and the worst thing will happen as they search for more deviant, bizarre and violent types of pornography.

Thus, it shows that pornography give more harmful effects rather than giving good effects to the internet pornography consumers.

STOP CHILDREN PORNOGRAPHY AS WELL!

Quitting Facebook Makes You a Cool Kids?

Assalammualaikum...

Facebook? It is the biggest social networking service that has been operating for 8 years starting from 2004 until now. The founder was Mark Zuckerberg and his college roommates and fellow students Eduardo Saverin, Dustin Moskovitz and Chris Hughes. What is so great about this social networking that almost all people around the world are so into it? It can be good things for those who use it in a proper way and good purposes, but for those who use it for bad intention, it can give them bad benefits. It stated in the New York Times that Facebook was growing so fast U.S. However, the number of Facebook’s user only increase for 10% starting from October 2009 until October 2010. Is it because of the article that was written by Jenna Wortham that makes people changed their minds about this social networking?

What actually do we see in Facebook? Is it really about connecting people and helps us to find our lost contact friends? Instead of helping people all around the world to connect to each other, at the same time it also helps to distant the relationships between people or our close friends? Let see the example. The purpose of Facebook is to keep people contact to each other. Yes, exactly. But have you ever thought that it could distant your relationships with everyone that you know inside the Facebook. Why I’m saying this thing. It is because you are only connecting to each other but you will never see them or having a meeting outside the Facebook since you already know that Facebook helps you to always keep updating about your friend’s life and more. By having this sort of thinking, you probably would not see your friends anymore as you will sit in front of the computer and just log in, you already connect with them. Thus, at the end, you might end your friendships just like that.

Beside distant your life with the one that you loved, people also will become addicted with it. In what way it can be addicted? Facebook’s hardcore user will spend their time online for more than 6 hour a day. At this point, we can see that people easily wasting their time doing something that is not beneficial for them. The time that was spent can be used to do something more valuable like reading books or doing other useful things. Rather than letting the time passed without you doing anything and realizes it, it’s better to quit your Facebook and starts to make changes in your life by doing more useful things. This also happened to students and worker. Facebook is a bad thing for students. They will spend more times compared to study and make revision. Thus, in the end they can’t score in the exam, and making their parents more disappoint. Workers also at the same time facing the same problem where at the office, for sure they will browse Facebook and let their valuable time passed just like that. That is why many offices decided to block Facebook completely since distract their worker to work.

Furthermore, Facebook could be one of the reasons for people especially married couple and other users to get into fight and lead to misunderstanding. Facebook is a worldwide website. People can surf at any time they want. When you keep updating about your life, your marriage problems, and other stuffs, your friends will have bad perceptions on you. They also might ask you tons of questions about your marriage that you should never tell those things to others. And at the end, you will get into fight with your husband because of what you put on Facebook and worst scenario might happened when you are getting divorce just because of Facebook.

So, now that you know that Facebook gives more bad effects to you.  Cool enough? Quit now before its too late. I’m done. How about you?

Family. Are they matter?

Assalamualaikum...

MY HEART

“In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony.”

Eva Burrows

Family? What are they actually? Family is s social unit consisting of parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not. They are the crucial part in our life. When we were born, our family had taught us the values of love, care, affection self-confidence, truthfulness, improves our personality and much more. Without them, we cannot be what we are right now. In our life, we need them as they are the one that can accept us just the way we are. There are no terms and conditions when you are with them. You also free with tension and every members of your family can be there to help and support you whenever you are having problems. Being with them and seeing their laugh, smile and joy will helps you to endure the toughest time that you ever experienced in your life. They also bring the pleasures into our life.

Besides, our main objective in this life is to gain the success and become someone that useful in the future. Family helps us to create the strong future. They will guide, give some important suggestion about what your career, what you can be in the future. Other than guiding us, they also cover our expenditures on schools and I think every need that we must have in our life have been cover by them as they wanted the best for us and do not want us to live through the tough times like them. In addition, when we have grown up, we become matured and can differentiate between bad and good. However, when we still made mistakes, they will scold us because they love us. They want us to change and become a good person not like other person like your friends that will never ask or never scold for something good. In fact, they even try to influence us to do something bad. Unlike family, they are totally different.

However, not many people see the important of family nowadays. They tend to spend most of their time with friends. But when they are having problem, it was their family that will helps them not their friends. Even you are the highest point in giving up in your life, family will be there for you to support, cherish and helps you to realize and gain your spirit in your life.

As for me, I’m very happy and thank to Allah that I was given a big and happy family where they will always be there for me whenever I’m in failure. They will always give moral support and advice to me that never stop to gain your success, do not easily give up and always pray to HIM.  Even I’m having a big problem and cannot think properly, but seeing and being with them will make me to stop thinking about the problem for the moment as they still can make you happy anytime and anywhere. They are the precious thing in my life and their love is life’s greatest blessing. 

“The best inheritance a parent can give to his children is a few minutes of their time each day.”

M. Grundler

Adolf Hitler.

Assalamualikum...

Adolf Hitler? Are you familiar with that name? Who is he? 

ADOLF HITLER

Early years:

•  He was born on 20th April 1889 in small Austrian town of Braunau near the German border.

• Son of 52 year old Austrian customs official (Alois Schickelgruber Hitler) and Klara Hitler.

• He left school at the age of 16 after when he spend four years in
Realschule in Linz with his dreams becoming a painter.

• October 1907, he went to Vienna, where he remains until 1913 to lead Bohemian.

• He then spend ‘five years of misery and woe’ after got rejection from
Viennese Academy of Fine Arts (adopting a view of life which changed very little in the ensuing years, shaped as it was by a pathological hatred of Jews and Marxists, liberalism and the cosmopolitan Habsburg monarchy.

• In Vienna he acquired his first education in politics by studying the demagogic techniques of the popular Christian-social Mayor, Karl Lueger, and chooses stereotyped, obsessive anti-Semitism with its brutal, violent sexual connotations ways and concern with the "purity of blood".

World War 2:

• May 1913 Hitler left Vienna for Munich when war break in August 1914, he joined the Sixteenth Bavarian Infantry Regiment, serving as a despatch runner.

• Hitler proved an able, courageous soldier, could receive the Iron Cross (First Class) for bravery, but did not rise above the rank of Lance Corporal.

• In November 1918 his military defeated on the revolution in Germany, Hitler restored where he believe that it was his fate to rescue a humiliated nation from the shackles of the Versailles Treaty, from Bolsheviks and Jews.

•  summer of 1919, Hitler was sent to investigate a small nationalistic group of idealists, the German Workers' Party by Reichswehr until the "educational" duties which consisted largely of spying on political parties in the overheated atmosphere of post-revolutionary Munich.

• 16 September 1919 he entered the Party, soon changed its name to the National Socialist German Workers' Party (NSDAP) and had imposed himself as its Chairman by July 1921.

Becomes leader:

• November 1921 Hitler was recognized as Fuhrer- movement which had 3,000 members, and boosted his personal power by organizing strong- arm squads to keep order at his meetings and eliminate those of his opponents.

•  
Out of these squads grew the storm troopers (SA) organized by Captain Ernst Röhm and Hitler's black-shirted personal bodyguard, theSchutzstaffel (SS).

•  
He focused more on his propaganda against the Versailles Treaty, the "November criminals," the Marxists and the visible, internal enemy No. 1, the "Jew," who was responsible for all Germany's domestic problem.

• 24 February 1920, where twenty-five-point program of the NSDAP had been announced the exclusion of the Jews from the Volk community, the myth of Aryan race supremacy and extreme nationalism were combined with "socialistic" ideas of profit-sharing and nationalization inspired by ideologues like Gottfried Feder.

• November 1923 Hitler was convinced that the Weimar Republic almost collapse and, together with General Ludendorff and local nationalist groups, sought to overthrow the Bavarian government in Munich.

• Hitler was arrested and tried on 26 February 1924, succeeding in turning the tables on his accusers with a confident, propagandist speech which ended with the prophecy.

• Sentenced to five years' imprisonment in Landsberg fortress, Hitler was released after only nine months during which he dictated 
Mein Kampf (My Struggle) to his loyal follower, Rudolf Hess.

Adolf Hitler in Reichstag

Rise of the Nazi party:

• January 1925 the ban on the Nazi Party was removed and Hitler regained permission to speak in public.

• Though the Nazi Party won only twelve seats in the 1928 elections, the onset of the Great Depression with its devastating effects on the middle classes helped Hitler to win over all those strata in German society who felt their economic existence was threatened.

• With the backing of the press tycoon, Alfred Hugenberg, Hitler received a tremendous nationwide exposure.

• 1930 elections the Nazi vote jumped dramatically from 810,000 to 6,409,000 and they received 107 seats in the Reichstag.

• 27 January 1932 great industrial magnates began to contribute liberally to the coffers of the NSDAP, reassured by Hitler's performance before the Industrial Club in Dusseldorf

• votes in the run-off elections of 10 April 1931 as against 19,359,650 votes for the victorious von Hindenburg.

•  
Hitler officially acquired German citizenship and decided to run for the Presidency, receiving 13,418,011 votes in the run-off elections of 10 April 1931 as against 19,359,650 votes for the victorious von Hindenburg

• July 1932 the Nazis emerged as the largest political party in Germany, obtaining nearly fourteen million votes (37.3 per cent) and 230 seats.

• 27 February 1933
 , The Reichstag fire had provided him with the perfect pretext to begin consolidating the foundations of a totalitarian one-party State, and special "enabling laws" were ramrodded through the Reichstag to legalize the regime's intimidatory tactics.

•  5 March 1933 Hitler gained a majority at the last "democratic" elections held in Germany.

As a Fuhrer:

• June 1934 confirmed Hitler as undisputed dictator of the Third Reich
, he united the positions of Fuhrer and Chancellor on the death of von Hindenburg, and have all the powers of State in his hands.

• he united the positions of Fuhrer and Chancellor on the death of von Hindenburg, he had all the powers of State in his hands.

• 1935 he abandoned the Versailles Treaty and began to build up the army by conscripting five times its permitted number.

• March 1936 he occupied the demilitarized Rhineland without meeting opposition.

•  He began building up the Luftwaffe and supplied military aid to Francoist forces in Spain, which brought about the Spanish fascist victory in 19391938, Hitler's saber-rattling tactics bludgeoned the British and French into the humiliating Munich agreement  and the eventual dismantlement of the Czechoslovakian State in March 1939.

• The next designated target for Hitler's ambitions was 
Poland (her independence guaranteed by Britain and France) and, to avoid a two-front war, the Nazi dictator signed a pact of friendship and non-aggression with Soviet Russia.

Hitler while he was young

Jack the Ripper

Assalammualaikum…

Have you ever heard about this mean, evil, inhuman man that got attention from all over the world in 1888? I think that most of us might know this person as unidentified serial killer or best known as Jack the Ripper. Jack actively moved around the Whitechapel located district area in London. Jack was known for his heartless way of killing those victims and also the first serial killer that ever existed during that period of time.  

Whitechapel district, London

THE CANONICAL FIVE

The Canonical Five who are Mary Ann Nicholas, Annie Chapman, Elizabeth Stride, Catherine Eddowes, and Mary Jane Kelly was the most famous victims during that time because of the way of killing them. The victims was discovered around 3.00 a.m. in Whitechapel and their body was found with the throat was severed deeply by two cuts, and the lower part of the abdomen was being ripped open and removed. There have been rumors saying that Jack took their organ and eat it. In fact, the letter ‘From Hell’ that was sent to the police saying that Jack took half of the organ and gave it to them while the other half was being cook and eaten by Jack.

'FROM HELL' LETTER

(Transcription)

From hell.

Sor

I send you half the Kidne I took from one woman and prasarved it for you tother piece I fried and ate it was very nise. I may send you the bloody knif that took it out if you only wate a whil longer

signed

Catch me when you can Mishter Lusk

This case got extensive everyone’s eyes including the newspaper crew, Criminal Investigation Department (CID), and also Vidocq Society was set up to investigate this brutal killings of Jack the Ripper. The continuous observations and investigations that were conducted had made police to come out with the large number of suspects and all of them could be Jack the Ripper. However, from the evidence that was gathered like his mental illness, his hatred towards women and prostitutes, his knife skills and he often disappeared especially during the killing of the victims had shown that James Kelly is Jack the Ripper. Sadly, until now the murder and criminal is yet to be arrested.

From my opinion, I think that the murder of those five victims should be arrested and the appropriate legislation should be passed to the murderer is to uphold the justice, the death of the five victims. I hope this unidentified serial killer would not be exist anymore at this moment as everyone might become the victims of the brutal killing.

The Pursuit of Happyness

Assalamualaikum...

'HOW TO GET WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE'

A true story of happiness

Two days ago, I had the chance to watch ‘The Pursuits of Happyness’ starring by Will Smith. It is my first time watching this movie and I’m TOTALLY in LOVE with this movie. Before this I never get the chance to watch and I’ve never heard about it. It’s so sad I didn’t manage to watch it earlier. But, the most important thing is that my tears fall down while watching it. This movie really touches my heart as now I understand what the true happiness is all about. 

This story tells about a father, Chris and his son, Christopher facing many hardships after being left by the mother. Both of them need to handle many difficulties especially the father where he need to protect and take good care of his son. He even did many jobs including becoming a stockbroker and selling the ‘bone density scanner’. Even though he faces many obstacles, he never gave up and always believes that everything will turn up to be normal again. In fact, his son is the only one that has been the motivation and strength towards Chris. For Chris, his son is everything. No matter what happen they will always stay together to face the problems. After facing uncountable hardships, he finally gains his ‘happyness’ where he finally had been accepted as the stockbroker at the Dean Witter. 

The part that really touches my heart is when they were chased out from the motel and they don’t know where to go. Even at that moment, the father still can make some jokes with his son and both of them still can manage to smile though they had faced many hardships in one day. That night, Chris was crying while watching his son sleeping because he was so sad that his son need to sleep in the public toilet. He couldn’t even give a place to stay during at night. At this moment, I was thinking that how difficult our life could be, right? We never know all these things and don’t even bother to care because we have everything likes a place to stay, clothes and everything. But for others to get a place for one night is already a tough thing to do. 

After watching the movie I was wondering why the ‘happyness’ is spell with the ‘y’ and not with ‘i’? Even before watching it I was so confuse, shouldn’t we spell it as ‘happiness’? Today, I already know the answer. In ‘happyness’ there is no ‘I’ and because you cannot be self-centered in order to achieve what you want to be in the future.  ‘Y’ is your happiness it means that you need to work harder and at the same time willing to sacrifice for other happiness. In this context, it shows that Chris work extra hard and sacrifice everything in order to make sure his son can live a better life. For me it is a good movie to watch as it will teach you that no matter how many challenges that you faced, there is always a good things comes after that.

"The happiest people in the world do not have everything they want. They just make the most out of what they have."

*Do appreciate what you still have. Once they're gone, its already too late to regret.

The Pianist

Assalamualaikum...greeting people.

"MUSIC WAS HIS PASSION. SURVIVAL WAS HIS MASTERPIECE"

Last 2 weeks I went to watch one movie which I find it interesting but I’m not really admire. It is a very violent, cruel and sad movie which I think I learn some lessons after watching it. The movie that I watched entitled ‘The Pianist’. The story is about a famous Polish Jewish pianist starring by Adrien Brody as (Władysław Szpilman) who works for Warsaw radio detailed his survival during World War 2. In life, music was his passion. He will never stop playing the piano no matter what happen. However, he played his last live music before Britain and France announced war on Nazi Germany.  

Everything started to change drastically when the Germany entered Warsaw, where Jewish populations live there. They began to change the rule where the Jews are allowed only a limited amount of money per family, and they must wear armbands imprinted with blue Star of David to identify themselves. In November 1940, all of them were forced into Warsaw Ghetto. They live their horrible life where they face hunger and persecution including the Wladyslaw family. Most of them died in the street because they could not find anything to eat. The family watched many horror and traumatic tragedy including killing thousands of innocent people. 

Then, SS has taken away Szpilman family where he needs to struggled living his life alone while the Invasion of Poland.  He even works as slave labour at the German construction. After a moment, he decides to hide outside the ghetto where he thinks it is safer. Years after years, Sziplman successful in hiding himself and also witness inhuman action by the SS like burning of the Jews. One day, he enters the apartment and hides under the German tank. While busy searching the food, he is discovered by a captain of the Wehrmacht, Wilm Hosenfeld. Instead of arrest him, the captain asked Sziplman to play the piano. Even after so many years, he still can play such amazing music. Then Hosenfeld let Sziplman to stay there and even gave him food until the final days of the war.

People may classify this story as the Best Movie, but I don’t really like some part where it shows how evil and cruel Nazi had treat the Jews, and it portray that they are worse compared to the Jews. But in reality, as we know Jews are very well-known because of their cruelty towards the people. However, this movie it shows different thing. Some people may get confused after watching this movie. Why? This is because they don’t understand who actually the ‘bad guy’. They might think it was Nazi or Jews? But actually it wants to change people’s perception towards the Jews where they are originally bad somehow being the population that had been persecuted by the Nazi. What I like about this movie was, it shows how the Sziplman surviving his life throughout many years without his love ones. Even he scared with the changes that occur but he trust that everything will end up being normal again. Nevertheless, it’s still a good movie to watch. There are lots of things that we can learn but it depends on oneself to differentiate it. 

DESIRE or NEEDS?

Assalamualaikum..Greeting poeple..

‘Hijab’, what cross your mind about this simple word? Hijab is refers to the headscarf that worn by Muslim women which also include a veil that covers the face except for the eyes. Even though it never state that women need to wear hijab, however it is the "tradition of Mohammed," to teach and reveal the teaching of Prophet to his believers. In Islam, our Prophet told the women to wear headscarf to cover their aurat from men. According to Hadith Sahih Bukhari "My Lord agreed with me ('Umar) in three things... (2) And as regards the veiling of women, I said 'O Allah's Apostle!  I wish you ordered your wives to cover themselves from the men because good and bad ones talk to them.' So the verse of the veiling of the women was revealled" (Bukhari, v1, bk 8, sunnah 395).

We can see the differences between women these days and in the previous century. These days, we still can see women wearing hijab; however the number is still little compared to those who do not wear hijab. Those who do not wear hijab think it is troublesome and uncomfortable whereas it is to prevent bad things from happening. Today, we can see many different kind of hijab design in the market in which to attract women. Yes, it is not wrong to look beautiful, and even women who are wearing hijab still can be fashionable but there still some women who actually taking this disadvantage wearing hijab because of the trend and fashion.

It is good to see people change from bad to good; nevertheless they wear it because of other things, fashion and trend. That is totally wrong, people! We cannot wear it because someone else told us to do so, or fashion and trend. But let me clarify here, I’m not saying that it is a sin to wear hijab because of the trend as the most important things is ‘our intention’ in doing that thing. I know sometimes people who do not wear hijab willingly to buy the expensive one only for the name and of course because of the trend. It is so clearly that they just want to be part of the society fashion wearing hijab.

We need to remember something, in Islam anything that we want to do should begin with the ‘good intention’. Without a good intention, everything that you had done is useless. I honestly think it is not a good example especially towards the kids. Yes, indeed they changed for something better, however this ‘intention’ is far more important and set it in your mind. You need to remind yourself about your first intention on why you wanted to wear hijab in the first place. REMEMBER, wear hijab because of ALLAH. That’s it. Full stop. I’m not saying this because I’m wearing hijab but I’m actually comfortable in this way and I do not care what others might say about me. Other people just easily assume that the ones that wear hijab always have bad things to cover up rather than honestly wear it. It’s totally wrong as for me I’m wearing hijab not because I want to cover something bad behind it but because of ALLAH and I’m sincerely in doing so. I kind like this girl where she eventually express her opinion on wearing hijab..That's all from me. Thank you for spend your time reading my blog..